things have changed.

literally, things.

car drives. horn doesn't work. but i have become rather creative in the expression of my anger. phone functions. computer is perfect. out of the modular and into the womb of a large, green mother home. 13 dollar desk, 15 dollar coffee table, a lamp...

but that's beside the point.

i am feeling so many things. rediscovering so many long gone ( or so i thought) parts of myself. a spiritual urge, the joy of listening to foo fighters, the disgust stimulated by most human beings (including myself, generally)... essentially, most aspects of the happy loner that i was for the majority of my childhood. it's hard to swallow when there are such radically different expectations from those around me, but the key word in the latter statement was happy. i am most happy when lost in my brain with my thoughts and my music, my weird obsessions and compulsions. i have found that the people around me are lonely, sad, depressed, and trying, trying so hard, to change those aspects of their lives with new people and cool interests and a variety of random techniques that i just don't have the heart to tell them will never work. not that i am a sage, but i have lived enough life to know that suppression of that sort is more painful than the only cure - quiet acceptance and then enjoyment of the life that is there.

don't i sound like a hippie douchebag.